i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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