Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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