he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
