How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
