Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
