So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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