Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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