Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
