Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
