She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
