I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize