i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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