The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize