Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
