So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
