nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
