2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize