this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize