Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
