And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
