tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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