I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Blood and glitter go together right?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
