there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
