god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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