My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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