And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
