yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
