he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't deserve a penis
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
