Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
