Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
