therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
