In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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