Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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