Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
