I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
