3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
