Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
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There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize