He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
