found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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