Quick, to the slutcave!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
