Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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