Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
