You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The uberlube is also flammable
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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