mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize