Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so much tequila, so little girl.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
