I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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