my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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