I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
