I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why did my mother make you get naked?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
