Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
