I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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