My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
