Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
