ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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