yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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