check it out our google latitudes are spooning
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
