She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
