My friends, they love my intelligence
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
