at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
