worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
