If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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