It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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