I love black thongs
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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