You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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