i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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