i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
