Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
