I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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